autocorrect roasts itself

imagine a website full of blogs

what if hangover 3 is everyone having a normal hangover? they wake up late with headaches. they take advil. they whine a little. then they sleep for the rest of the movie

“hey, did u hear somebody bought tumblr?”

“ya, who?”

“yeah”

florida man realizes he lives in georgia

news: bing outbids yahoo and purchases tumblr with a last-minute offer, claiming they plan to turn tumblr into a new, better search engine. the engine they have been searching for all this time

how to sext in case u were unaware

if the person who made the first dictionary forgot 1 word we will never know what that word is?? what if it was something really cool and useful and they just forgot to include it and we will never know it who else is fired up

imagine if they were selling tumblr to nickelodeon instead of yahoo tho

“no more swearing, no pictures of yourself, and absolutely NO pornography”

if ur ever talking to an attractive person and they go “why is ur face red” just say “bc ur so hot u gave me sunburn” trust me

high school is like “ur older now so u can handle all this extra work here have some tests and homework” but also “at the same time u have to decide your entire career and college future” but wait theres more “be actively involved in clubs and the community and sports” and if you call now you will also receive a “keep a great social life too these are the best years of your life”

started from the bottom now we are lost and looking for directions back to the bottom

*walks into ur house* hmm yes, this is a nice house u have here

*pees on the wall* my territory now u have 5 seconds to leave

the good news is if i somehow died within the next few months i would have a chance to be reborn as the baby kanye/kardashian

parents are always like “why are u still inside go be more social” but then whenever i do make plans theyre like “hell no i wont drive u 10 minutes somewhere im way too busy” like damn nigga what u want me to do walk? fly??