hypnus:

maybe if i sigh deep enough i’ll die

(via rnarshmallows)

dampsandwich:

get down off your high horse pal. and for god sakes stop letting your horse smoke weed

(via toastyghosties)

being sad is more relaxing than being stressed so thats good

autocorrect roasts itself

matzoballer:

your mama is so fat that - wait she’s not really fat actually she’s kinda hot… hey tell your mom i said hi

(via one-hamburger)

imagine a website full of blogs

warning: do not think while on the tumblr website. only text posts made without thinking first will keep the crowd calm

how hard are u trying to understand that those posts arent supposed to be funny and they are just me thinking about stuff bc u arent succeeding

i am embarassing u next

we are going to be deep thinkers tonight friends who is ready to make a scientific discovery

what if the moon is the dried up brittle remains of what used to be a planet thriving with life which had its natural resources overused by the creatures populating it

what if the core of our earth is actually another universe that holds a bunch of mini planets for some very small little creatures who dont even realize how little and tiny they are

what if the aliens have UFO’s and they obviously go really fast because they have to move through space so we never see them move because theyre going so fast and every time they pass the earth they all laugh at us like “haha those noobs dont even have space flying thingies yet”

do u think aliens send each other nudes what if a ufo containing a shipment of alien nudes crashed into the earth